Have I ever told you how much I hate yoga? Well, I hate yoga. I have tried to like it. I was terrible at it,not only this,I got bored about half way thru each class. My mind would wander, & well, I just fucking hated it.
@JodhiMeares posted a pic on her insta a few weeks ago that said this;‘The yoga pose is not the goal..The goal is to create space where you once where stuck.To unveil the layers of protection you’ve built around your heart…To make peace with who you are. The goal is to love, well…You. Come to your yoga mat to feel; not to accomplish. Shift your focus & heart will grow.’ It made me realize I had been going about it all wrong (Thank you,Jodhi!). Then you know when the universe tries to tell you something,but you are not really listening, so it tells you again, and again, and again, till you pay attention? Well, in a recent conversation in my weekly therapy life debrief session, after I had gone around in circles with verbage on something that was affecting me much more then I cared to admit, my therapist suggested (in the calm, gentle suggestion way only therapists can do) that would I be open to trying yoga – I didn’t tell her I fucking hated it, I just half winced & told her I was committed & would give it a go.She suggested I try it not to physically challenge myself, but to use it as a time to calm the mind & take an hour or so to focus inwards...
So,on the weekend, I did a class here in NYC with Kumi Sawyers ( @ShadyLawn ) at SkyTing Yoga studio & it started to click a little bit more (Kumi–you are AMAZING, its me who is the slow learner!).
So tonight, I am putting my yoga pants back on, & heading back to the mat to continue the practice. To use the time to look inward. To press pause on the inner dialogue..& if I can get my heels closer to the mat on my downward dog,then my goodness-baby-jes us-in-golden-fleece-diapers,there might be a yogi inside of me somewhere! This post is really to let you know (other then my hopefully changing disdain of yoga), if you are battling some inner dialogue at the moment,or you feel a little bit broken on the inside, I hope you know the value in knowing your value, & you are not alone
Sending you lots of love – SWx