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The Need to Feel Wanted: Olivia Angerosa

Samantha Wills

Why we hate being single but can't get a committed relationship down...

Contributing writer, Olivia Angerosa

Contributing writer, Olivia Angerosa

Since I was 15 I've basically not been without a boyfriend. Meaning for the last six years, I've not really ever been single. And let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I love the feeling of being wanted and needed. It's like boyfriends and men have became my secret vice.

From an early age, we girls are taught how important looks are, and if a boy calls you beautiful or hot, that's how you know he likes you. Unfortunately, this idea gets so planted in our beautiful, brilliant brains, that we continue to think this way through crucial periods of our life, like sophomore year of college.

When my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, I felt lost. It took this all-time low for me to realize my worth went deeper than outer beauty. Not only did I feel that I lost him, but I knew I lost a part of my self too. I forgot what I was truly passionate about and noticed that I was severely lacking in the self-love department. I didn't know how to feel beautiful without him telling me every day. 

After a few good weeks of self-loathing and trying to blame myself for everything that happened, I knew I had to pull it together and try to start again. With some thinking, I came to the conclusion that if someone wanted to date me in the future, they would have to compliment and fall in love with my mind before my body. It might seem prude or silly, but just think; how amazing would it feel to know the man you love thinks your intelligence, your thoughts, and your dreams are just as, if not more, beautiful than your physical appearance?

We all have the basic human need to be wanted, but it shouldn't lead us to the delusional thought that if just one man out of thousands wants to get with us because of our physical appearance, that this is "love". I know plenty of people who complain about being single. But since having experienced "singleness" for the past three months, it's nothing to complain about. 

Right now is our time to shine and do what we please. Developing your career shouldn't revolve around what your boyfriend wants you to do or where he wants you to go. Even if he doesn't have an opinion, the chances are you're going to want to end up where he is regardless if it fits your goals.

This was my biggest mistake in my last relationship. I've known since a young age that New York City is where I was meant to end up one way or another. Well, my ex was completely against it. Nothing would change his mind, so slowly over the two years, I tried convincing myself I would be fine back in Connecticut where we were from, or for settling in Boston. But I'm not the settling type (how I knew I lost myself during the relationship), and instantly snapped out of it after the breakup. 

Sometimes it just takes time to realize your worth, or like in my case, getting your heart broken. It will likely destroy you a little at first, but you come back stronger than you ever thought you could be. So, enjoy your 20-something years. Notice how intelligent you are, and your strengths, and understand that you will be wanted in the best possible way one day. For now, figure out what makes you happy while single. It will make a world of difference once that right one comes along.